Queen of Tarts
| Queen of Tarts | |
| Before: "Can you convince the Queen of Tarts to let Aria go?!"
After: Well, who know that the Schnozzberry bush would have THAT reaction? The Mad Haberdasher, of course! | |
| Location Info | |
| Level Required: | Any |
| Location: | Falconreach > Ash Dragonblade (Meta-Area) > Aria in Wanderland > Queen of Tarts |
| Dragon Amulet Needed: | Yes |
| Monsters and NPCs | |
| Monster Generation: | Fixed |
| Monster List: | Lemon Persnickety (Scaled Level), Trumpter Flamingo (Scaled Level), Knaves of Spades (Scaled Level), Knaves of Tarts (Scaled Level), Queen of Tarts (Scaled Level) |
| NPCs: | Aria, Cysero/Mad Haberdasher, Kittypillar, Cheshire Twilly (NPC), Minion, Minion 2, Queen of Tarts (NPC) |
| Rewards | |
| Total Experience: | Scaled |
| Total Gold: | Scaled |
| Equipment Won: | Cheshire Twilly (level 20, 30, 40, 50) |
Dialogue
Ash: The Mad Haberdasher has a plan! Good luck seeing it through!
Cysero: You know what? You should just take her a whole schnozzberry BUSH!
You: Er… thanks. It’s a good thing I have extra room in my pack… somewhere.
Cysero: A little smooshing does a berry good. If you like squished berries, that is. Which I do.
You: Kittypillar! Why would the queen imprison YOU?!
Kittypillar: …….
You: Well, this brings back memories
Cheshire Twilly (NPC):: The Queen-
You: Stop DOING that! It’s so creepy when you just APPEAR like that!
Cheshire Twilly: Ahem. As I was SAYING…the Queen asked him his opinions about her tarts
Cheshire Twilly: He was so busy contemplating the hypothetical interaction of a Tusker and a carpenter that he failed to respond
You: You mean he ignored her like he ignores me
Cheshire Twilly: Exactly. Her being a Queen, she took exception to that and ordered her guards to take his head
Cheshire Twilly: They were so captivated by the bubble he blew, though, that they protested until she commuted his sentence to imprisonment
Cheshire Twilly: The guards come here on their off hours to sit and watch the bubbles float
You: Aria!
Aria: Oh, [character], please help me! All I’ve been given to eat are burnt tart leftovers!
Aria: And she’s a bad baker! I’m sooooooo hungry!
You: I will get you out of here as soon as I can! I promise!
Queen of Tarts (NPC): Which one of you is responsible for this…this monstrosity?
Minion: It was totally his idea…
Minion 2: WHAT?!
Minion 2: You are NOT putting the blame on me again, Fred
Minion 2: It took me a week of stumbling around to find my head last time!
Minion: Suck it up, buttercup!
Minion: My girl will kill me…again…if I am late tonight. It’s our 150th anniversary of our first kiss!
Minion 2: *Glares at Fred*
Minion 2: YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE LIPS!!!
Minion: Well…I guess it’s kinda like a headbutt. A love…headbutt…or something…
Minion 2: *facepalm*
Queen of Tarts: ENOUGH!
Queen of Tarts: I did not give you permission to use my kitchen!
Minion: I was trying to cook something up to hold me over. You haven’t really been baking much since--
Queen of Tarts: OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!!!!
Queen of Tarts: And even when I ask questions, you’re NOT allowed to TALK!
You: Your Highness! *(It’s never hard to find you…)*
Minion 2: AREEEE OOOOOW! (Pst! Hey, let’s make a break for it while she’s not looking!)
Minion: AROOOO! (Ooooh yeah!)
Queen of Tarts: You again! And here, in my inner sanctuary! NO ONE is allowed in my kitchen without my permission!
Queen of Tarts: GUARDS!
Queen of Tarts: …
Queen of Tarts: Guards?
You: I think your guards remember me *chuckle*
Queen of Tarts: Fine. I’ll have to handle you myself!
Queen of Tarts: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!!
You: Your Highness, I just need to talk to you. Once we speak, I’ll leave your queendom peacefully
Queen of Tarts: *Sigh* Very well. What is it you want?
You: My friend, the one you’ve imprisoned, Aria?
Queen of Tarts: Ah yes. The little spy sent to steal my tart recipe!
You: She is NOT a spy. She doesn’t WANT your tart recipe
You: And to prove that we come- and will leave- in good faith…I have a NEW tart recipe for you.
You: And even the ingredients to make it.
Queen of Tarts: Oh really?
You: Just let me find it in my pack… *Rustle*
You: Well, that’s not it… *Dig* *Dig*
You: I KNOW it’s in here! *Grab*
You and Queen of Tarts: … *Squish*
You: Found it!
Queen of Tarts: ?!
Queen of Tarts: What is THAT?
You: That--
Mad Haberdasher: --is a Schnozzberry bush!
Queen of Tarts: Are those…NOSES on the bush?
Mad Haberdasher: Of course not, those are BERRIES!
You: I DID say that it was a berry bush, your Highness.
Mad Haberdasher: They’re magically nutritious! Just try it. Pick one!
Mad Haberdasher: I should really warn you. The berries-
Mad Haberdasher: …They REALLY smell.
You: Is she unconscious?!
Mad Haberdasher: Pretty much.
You: Now would be a GREAT time to save Aria.
Mad Haberdasher: Later would be a worse time.
You: Did you know the berries would do that?
Mad Haberdasher: Yup.
Mad Haberdasher: Mmmm.
Mad Haberdasher: They’re delicious! Want one?
Mad Haberdasher: ….
Mad Haberdasher: No?
Mad Haberdasher: What about you, [character]?
You: Er, no thanks. I’m just…going to go…rescue Aria now.
You: And hey, where’s your hat?
Mad Haberdasher: Oh, that. It decided to go on strike. So I’m hatless now.
You: Well, I’m off to rescue Aria. Enjoy your berries.
Mad Haberdasher: Mmmmhmmm!
